Value

I have quit my job. It was a bit more dramatic and overwhelming than I would have liked. In retrospect I have had plenty of time to plan this out, to plant the seeds of my success on this fresh path. But it's done, and I'm back to asking myself the exact same questions I did when I graduated from college: what now? For the time being, I'm sorting out what is left of me after being in a job that did not serve anything but my bank account. Who am I without my job? This is the first Monday unemployed, but can I still wake up with purpose? If I'm not working, and I do not have children, what am I supposed to be doing? For someone who has worked full time or been a full time student or some combination of the two since I was 16, who I am has been conditioned to be completely measured by what I am producing. What if I don't just go find another paycheck to bring home, but instead I find who I am and what kind of brilliance my life can have? What if I take helping others off of the table and simply live my truth, and perhaps that will be an inspiration to others as a by-product? What if I release my opinion of myself that is shaped by the outside world and just seek a deeper meaning to my purpose? I have heard from several friends and family members over the past few days that they are proud of me for my decision, and that bolstered my own confidence in this topsy turvy moment I'm in, but who am I to give a damn what people think? I knew for a long time that this wasn't the environment for myself, and instead I let my ego stay in control. And this whole time people would have been proud of me for quitting?! What I know about who I am is this: my value does not exist in other people's opinions of me, my value is not what I can do for other people, and my value is not somehow diminished the moment I take myself off of someone's payroll. My value lies in how well aligned I can become to my own truth, it lies in the beauty that is living in the light, it lies in how honest I can become with what I want out of life.